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Are you an extroverted and highly sensitive person in nervous overload or a High Sensation Seeker (HSS)
This post helps you distinguish between the two.
Extroverted, highly sensitive people under stress
Actually, as an extroverted, highly sensitive person, you have many advantages. Unfortunately, this does not show up in everyone the same way. For some, life is a major challenge between under-stimulation and over-stimulation, between wealth of ideas and practical implementation, and between the desire for contact and the desire to be alone. This video is also about the phenomenon of the High Sensation Seeker, because here misunderstandings sometimes occur that are not helpful.
Extroverted, highly sensitive people are actually ambiverted
Extroverted highly sensitive people often have an easier time in life than introverted highly sensitive people. This is because extroverts are actually ambiverted. High sensitivity ensures that extroverts always carry an introverted part within them as well. They can therefore alternate between both. At the same time, however, there is also the challenge that the needs of both the extroverted and introverted parts want to be satisfied. The intensity of the behaviors can vary individually.
Full potential development through good self-management
A prerequisite for both parts to get their money's worth is good self-awareness. Unfortunately, in many extroverted highly sensitive persons, also known as HSP, this is not always optimally developed due to unfavorable experiences. If this is the case, there is a risk that our extroverted and introvert needs are constantly in conflict with each other.
Extroverted highly sensitive people at full speed
We then dive into a new project full of enthusiasm and put all our energy into it. We try to find everything on the topic, watch videos, research wildly, perhaps also make new contacts for the project, and plan big actions. Our attention is then totally focused on our new project. If we lack self-awareness in this situation, however, we do not notice that we are running at way too high a gear, that we need breaks, and that we are often completely overwhelming ourselves with the mass of information we bring together. This high-level state can last for several days until our batteries are completely drained. The consequence is that we collapse at some point. We are then completely overwhelmed and have no strength left. The initial extreme motivation has completely vanished.
The strong driving force of extroverted, highly sensitive people
This high-level state can last for several days until our batteries are completely drained. The consequence is that we collapse at some point. We are then completely overwhelmed and have no strength left. The initial extreme motivation has completely vanished.
Extroverted highly sensitive people in seclusion
Most of all, we want to crawl under the covers and no longer hear or see anything. If we have the opportunity, we then completely withdraw and vanish from sight. No phone, no emails, and the doorbell is turned off. If that is not possible, we get sick. The body gets the rest it urgently needs this way. Highly sensitive people are able to thoroughly enjoy this time, recharge their batteries, treat themselves well, and find this time out very pleasant.
Disruptions threaten regeneration
However, during disruptions, they can become very irritable. Especially with children, this is a very difficult phase, as they naturally demand contact again and again, and it can happen that in such moments out of distress we act very irritable and rejective towards our children. Then we are also plagued by a bad conscience.
The best thing for us in such a phase would be absolute peace and quiet so that we can recharge our batteries. Every disturbance prolongs the regeneration process.
Alternating between extroversion and introversion.
After two to three days of introverted existence, the extroverted part surfaces again and gets bored. Eagerly it searches for something new to captivate us and into which we can pour all our energy. Rarely do I observe a continuation of the old. As a rule, the old project is tossed out the window. Sometimes we even chalk it up as a failure for ourselves, even though it has a great deal of potential. But in reality, we simply ran out of steam because our approach overwhelmed us.
The cycle between activism and collapse in extroverted HSPs
The new project will then be tackled again with full fervor and enthusiasm. Unfortunately, as a rule, complete overload and collapse are the consequence. This creates a tragic cycle of activism and overwhelm.
In such clients, there has often been suspicion of bipolar disorder from the outside. That's why it's important to look closely here. Although they live very strongly in cycles between action and exhaustion, they do not show the symptoms of mania or depression. In an introverted phase, we are not depressed, but simply no longer feel like taking in input. And when we get the quiet time, we feel relatively good again quickly and enjoy the break. Until it gets boring again. Then the game starts all over again.
The package insert
Here it is particularly important for me to emphasize that my description does not replace the assessment of a professional who experiences you live. Truly manic people are hardly able to adequately classify themselves through self-assessment.
When extroverted highly sensitive people confuse their environment
For the environment, this changeable behavior can sometimes be very confusing. At one meeting, the new topic is just our thing. What we should have done for a long time, the non-plus-ultra. Two weeks later we report on a completely different project. And again that's just our thing. What we should have done for a long time, the non-plus-ultra.
Ambiverted, highly sensitive individuals in the workplace
This volatility is often reflected in the resume as well. On the one hand, because the desire to dedicate oneself to something new is very strong, and on the other hand, because it is very exhausting to stay in the same job with such a behavior pattern, since the volatility can also lead to conflicts more frequently. Unless the job offers the opportunity to live out this exact volatility. Therefore, many prefer self-employment.
Extroverted, highly sensitive people are good project starters
In a suitable team, we can be incredibly successful. The ability to get so enthusiastic and dive right in makes us perfect project starters. Our creativity brings completely new impulses and is highly innovative. They also have the ability to convince customers of our ideas.
Now we just need other team members who will implement our ideas in the long term. If we don't have this framework, it can happen that in the end we don't actually bring any of our many ideas to life. In coaching, the main task there is to pay attention to the common thread and provide support in staying on the ball. A companion is incredibly helpful here, otherwise there is a danger that it will lead to a cycle of tackling and giving up.
Ambiverts in relationships
The volatility is also apparent in social interactions. One factor in this is empathy. During an introverted phase, we are very empathetic, but after overload we also tend to withdraw strongly and avoid any contact. During an extroverted phase, there is a risk that in our enthusiasm we run over others and cause friction with our impulsive energy.
In friendships and partnerships, it is important that our counterpart is securely attached psychologically and does not take moments of withdrawal personally. The fickleness can be very exhausting, not only for ourselves. Unfortunately, it also often leads to conflicts with others.
How extroverted HSPs can rise above themselves
The challenge is that we dedicate ourselves to both parts in a balanced way and use them flexibly. When we succeed in doing this, we grow beyond ourselves and can achieve great things.
For this, we must consciously perceive where we currently stand. It is important to recognize over- or under-stimulation early on, so that we can take timely breaks to avoid collapsing and throwing everything away. It then becomes easier to find projects that are diverse enough for us in themselves and always offer something new. Or we simply connect different areas that might not seem to fit together at first glance. Looking beyond the box, openness to new things, and the fascination of constructively combining these things brings helpful new perspectives with an immense creative power.
How to differentiate between extroverted high sensitivity and High Sensation Seeking
And now we come to the High Sensation Seekers and what distinguishes them from extroverts with a self-perception that has room for improvement.
Based on my current knowledge, a highly sensitive person cannot be a High Sensation Seeker.
According to Elaine Aron, the developer of the high sensitivity model, every HSP has a strong mindfulness system. This means we are forward-looking, pay attention to dangers, and are cautious. Our loop of thoughts is always concerned with the possible consequences of our actions. While we can be brave, we are not foolhardy.
High Sensation Seekers seek risk
However, High Sensation Seekers are precisely that. They are always on the search for the next kick, love boundary experiences, and take high risks for them.
The aforementioned behaviors of extroverted HSPs with low self-awareness also apply to High Sensation Seekers. In addition, they are also looking for extreme feelings; they want the thrill of extreme experiences.
What does science say about the phenomenon of High Sensation Seekers
The biologist and brain researcher Gerhard Roth assumes that the development of an HSS personality stems from early traumatic experiences that disrupt the stress system.
This causes biochemical processes in the stress system to be disrupted. In risk situations, they do not release the stress hormone cortisol, and they also have a significantly lower release of serotonin. Serotonin is responsible for behavioral inhibition. The brain's reward system is less sensitive. Therefore, they need stronger stimuli to get a positive effect.
This can manifest in different ways. One seeks the thrill in extreme sports activities, another leads an extreme lifestyle, full of drugs, wild parties, and excessive sex.
Conclusion
There are therefore some overlaps in behavior among High Sensation Seekers and extroverted highly sensitive people. However, other fundamental characteristics, in my opinion, preclude high sensitivity, as they contradict the prerequisites of high sensitivity according to Aron's model.
If you want to learn how to deal well with this combination, you will find my Coaching for Highly Sensitive People .
