What Highly Sensitive People Should Know!
Are you highly sensitive and suffering from your feelings? Can a small remark spoil your mood for hours or days, and do you find it difficult to distance yourself from the moods of others? In this post, you'll learn why the emotional perception of highly sensitive people is actually a strength and what you can do to prevent feelings from overwhelming you.
Highly Sensitive People and Their Strong Emotional World – Part 3 of 4
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According to the research of Elaine Aron, the developer of the highly sensitive person model, there are four basic characteristics. These form the basis of high sensitivity.
This post deals with the third aspect, the strong emotional world . Here, blessing and curse are often close together.
The four basic characteristics of high sensitivity
1. The deep processing of information
2. Easier overstimulation of the nervous system
3. A strong emotional world
4. Highly receptive also to subtle stimuli
Highly sensitive people process information on a deeper, more interconnected level than average sensitive people. They are hormonally “always ready for mental deployment.”
High sensitivity and feelings?
In highly sensitive people, emotions are also activated more quickly than in average people. They tend to be more quickly curious, angry, anxious, or happy. Their face is like an open book, which is unfortunately not always an advantage. In general, the world of emotions is an absolute strength of high sensitivity. How do I come to this conclusion? Let's take a closer look.
Highly sensitive people and emotions – richness and flexibility
Highly sensitive people experience the world of their emotions in all its facets. From ecstatic joy to profound sadness, and this applies in both directions and within seconds. The entire spectrum of emotions is open to them.
Highly sensitive people have a strong emotional awareness
It is easy for them to name their feelings.
However, this can take a while if they are currently experiencing a cocktail of emotions.
Then, first of all, there is precise feeling and reflection on what is going on, and that simply takes time. In my seminars, this becomes apparent when HSPs in a discussion group usually prefer to be among the last to say something. In events where only highly sensitive people are present, it takes considerably longer than in mixed seminars for the first person to speak up.
Highly sensitive people are also very emotional in their reactions. Negative feedback can inhibit them greatly, while positive feedback can delight and motivate them immensely. In their striving for perfectionism, some also tend to overreact. A report gets completely rewritten even though only a few passages needed to be changed.
Highly sensitive people tend to share positive feelings
They themselves like to give positive feedback and hold back on negative feedback. If they do give negative feedback, it is constructive and care is taken not to expose the person.
I know several HSPs who have deactivated their Facebook accounts because they dislike the way some comments are responded to. It doesn't even have to affect them personally; it's enough for others to be attacked.
A special strength of highly sensitive people – empathy
One of the special abilities that characterize highly sensitive people is their high level of empathy. Compassion is one of the greatest strengths of high sensitivity. They always keep an eye on how others are doing. Because of this, they are considered moral guardians in groups.
They are particularly good at perceiving facial expressions and gestures and find it easy to read and listen between the lines. The high level of empathy combined with strong social skills means that people are happy to confide their worries to them. Excessive talkers can become a challenge because HSPs generally dislike interrupting others. The counterpart then had a "good conversation," while the highly sensitive person is completely exhausted afterward.
In addition, it can also become difficult when compassion turns into pity. This usually happens when highly sensitive people find it difficult to set boundaries and/or their own emotions are triggered. Their own experiences and fears then mix into the conversation.
This can of course also happen in a positive sense, which is shown, for example, in a high capacity for enthusiasm. Highly sensitive people are happy to share in the joy and let themselves be carried along energetically. For HSPs, the feelings of others are contagious. Therefore, the ability to set boundaries is an important factor in preserving one's energy balance.
Concern for the Greater Good – World Weariness
What many highly sensitive people also know is the feeling of world weariness. I personally do not watch the news or read daily newspapers. Otherwise, I am plagued by the worry of where all this is heading, or the thought of what terrible things exist in the world and under what conditions people have to live, which weighs heavily on me. Many highly sensitive people feel this way.
Highly sensitive people are emotional people
Even though highly sensitive people appreciate knowledge, they are not purely intellectual. They do not understand situations by analyzing them; rather, they place great importance on feeling their way through situations. Authenticity is very important to them. This is also one of the reasons why they tend to dislike small talk. They find it difficult to ask a formal "how are you?" because it feels too superficial to them. Furthermore, they can sense when there is much more lingering behind clichés like "good" or "can't complain." If the highly sensitive person then does not openly address their perception, they will dwell on it for a while. The likelihood that they will spend time after the encounter wondering what is really going on inside the other person is very high.
Highly sensitive people have a good sense of body awareness
The body awareness of highly sensitive people is exceptional. They can easily perceive and describe sensations.
This is also evident in an early warning system. It helps them perceive illnesses even before the doctor can make a diagnosis.
HSP and the sense of connection
Highly sensitive people connect very quickly when the emotional level is right. They appreciate deep friendships in which they can show themselves authentically. Because of this sense of connection, they are very reliable and loyal.
Highly sensitive people fall in love quickly
HSP individuals tend to produce more adrenaline than average sensitive people. This, coupled with the sense of connection, ensures that highly sensitive people fall in love faster.
Highly sensitive perception on other levels – the sixth sense
Many HSPs also report this phenomenon. They feel when someone has died or something has happened to someone. They sense how people close to them are feeling—even from a distance. The challenge here is to distinguish between one's own feelings and those of others. They frequently report that they have thought about someone for the first time in a long time and within a few days that person calls.
When Feeling Becomes a Burden
Due to high sensitivity, the nervous system is activated more quickly. To manage this abundance of feelings, highly sensitive people need good self-regulation skills. This allows them to perceive a certain degree of inner arousal as pleasant and to calm down quickly again.
However, if the nervous system is overloaded or impaired, these abilities are partially restricted. The intensified feeling can then become a major burden.
What can you do when you feel too much?
To fully enjoy the benefits of high sensitivity, it is important that you watch your stress levels.
- Avoid things that unnecessarily activate your nervous system.
- Take breaks so your nervous system can calm down.
- What brings you down? A bath, exercise, a walk, dancing, a phone call with a friend? Write down your personal relaxation list that you always have ready. It is best to save this on your mobile phone. We tend to forget the resources we have when we are under stress, and therefore a list that you have ready is an important bridge that reminds us of our resources.
What do you think of yourself when your emotions take over? Highly sensitive people in particular tend to judge their own inadequacies very negatively. They would never talk to their best friend the way they berate themselves. I invite you to observe how you talk to yourself and about yourself. We already feel bad enough in situations like that anyway.
If you want to make sure you really hit emotional rock bottom, then berate yourself. Use words like "always" and "yet again". Compare yourself to others and assume that you are the only person in the world who feels this way and behaves like this. That is guaranteed to work!
The other way around too. If you treat yourself with love, full of understanding, goodwill, and with an attentive, humorous wink at the situation, the world is immediately a different one.
Stress regulation is the key
The ability to regulate stress is the foundation for an enjoyable way of dealing with high sensitivity. You can get more information in my posts or in my seminars and training courses. There you will receive a variety of techniques for different life situations that will help you with stress regulation. You will also learn how you can generally expand your stress tolerance. This is not rocket science; a lot of it is simply technique and the knowledge of how and through what our stress system is activated.
You don’t have to go through this alone: In my Coaching for Highly Sensitive People we will tackle such topics together.
